By Rina Chong
Who made up the dating rules and why is there so much pressure to follow them? It seems that there’s a certain level of expectation and decree that society puts on us when we connect with someone. There are various tips out there that may guide us; however, they are not rules written in stone. People ask me, “I met someone on Saturday, when should I call him/her?” Well, the rule is that if you meet someone on a Saturday that you should wait at least 3 days to call. Wrong. Here’s a new rule: Call them when you feel like it! No, it doesn’t make you look desperate and I can guarantee you that the person that gave you their number in the first place would be excited to receive a call from you.
If you have rules, then you have a game. Love shouldn’t be a game. Then there’s the ‘don’t make yourself too available’ rule. So you’re going to ‘pretend’ that you’re busy? If you’re free and you want to spend time with someone just do it! How else are you going to get to know the person if you’re constantly busy when in reality you’re not? We all have a busy schedule so why make it busier by pretending? You may lose a chance to get to know someone pretty cool. But whatever works for you. When it comes to love, only you know how you feel and how the other person makes you feel. We are adults and have our own instincts. So if you’re feeling good about something, don’t let anyone deter you from it. If you feel like calling or texting someone you just met, then go ahead! If you feel like seeing someone more than twice a week, go ahead! Don’t let anything stop you from doing what feels right to you. Use your own judgements.
Technically, rules are a normal occurrence based on the experiences of other people that are then given to others as advice. I know a couple that got married after only a couple of weeks and they never told their friends until a year later. After 7 years, they’re still going strong!!! I bet you, they would have had a few people telling them that they were crazy and it wouldn’t work out. I’m sorry, but did friends all of a sudden take on a new career as psychic? Friends are supposed to be supportive no matter what as long as you’re happy because it’s your life to live.
People’s opinions are only theirs. If anyone says that you ‘can’t’ or ‘shouldn’t’, then ask someone else because anyone with a dream would tell you different. Or how about you don’t ask anyone at all! Remember, if you don’t want someone’s opinion you don’t tell them and if someone doesn’t ask for your opinion same thing. Now I understand that there are different circumstances where people may be right about the negative things they are saying about someone in order to save you from heartache (that’s a completely different blog) but for the most part it’s up to you to decide; you’re the only one who knows how you feel. The point of this entry is to quit playing games, listen to your heart and go with your gut instincts. Your gut is rarely ever wrong. If it feels right to you, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise! There are obvious red flags such as the person still in a relationship or marriage, or a drug addict, alcoholic, abusive, etc, I don’t need to go into all of them.
If you have a rule that you broke and it worked out for you and would like to share your story, please feel free to post them in the comment box below, or if you would like to be anonymous please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. I would love to hear them! If you see me around town stop and say hi 🙂 Until then happy connecting, loving and laughing!