Toxic Relationships: What is the Payoff?

I hear so many women/men in terrible relationships tell me whey they stay. They stay because of comfort. Because they have invested so much time. They stay because they still love the other person but love them for when they first met, now things are not so dreamy. Since when did loving someone else come before¬†your Self? Since when did you ever allow someone to make you feel less than what you are truly worth? You’re actually comfortable settling for something that you know is not for you? You’ve invested so much time that you actually want to invest more time not being happy? What kind of life is that? Oh wait, a friend reminded me that people stay in relationships for kids too…how could I forget that classic excuse. Stay in a hell for kids? What are you teaching them? That you are not worthy enuogh to have love? Why does dad sleep in the basement mommy? How come mom and dad don’t hug or kiss? Or why do you guys fight all the time? If it’s for the kids then make it for the kids, they are so impressionable and if you think they don’t see it they do. Kids are smarter than you think and there is nothing wrong with 2 parents loving their children and parentlng them apart. Be true to yourself and true to your kids. They will eventually put two and two together. Children associate the word ‘love’ with emotions and feelings. How you teach them about love is how they will continue in their lives. Do you want your child to think it’s ok to stay in an unloving or even abusive relationship?

If you didn’t like it you wouldn’t order it so why are you in it? Doors only open once you close the door to a past that does not suit you well. You have 2 choices: 1. Stay, make changes in your Self (because if you think you can change someone by manipulating them you can’t or if you think someone will change for you they won’t) and accept it OR 2. Know that this is your only chance at life and get enough courage or self love to leave and stop complaining. If you’re in a situation where you have to be a constant private investigator you have issues. If you have to check your man’s phone all the time you have issues. If you hate it when your gf wants to go out and looks hot, you have issues. You have issues of control. Stop trying to control others and get control of your own life. And if you are allowing someone to control you then you live by default.

Happiness is the only way in life. And if you’re not laughing anymore or if it feels like a chore then it may be time to let go. It may not feel good at the time but it will be a huge weight lifted off your shoulders and don’t make the mistake I made by staying unhappy in a relationship for much longer than it had expired. Although I don’t have regrets I do regret the length of time I chose to stay in something that wasn’t for me when I could’ve been spending all that time with my friends and family instead. Be brave!¬†

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