What you see in your life and how you feel about yourself determines how you will be in your actions. What you see as far as circumstances will go on to determine how you will react to situations or challenges. Therefore your surroundings and the people that are in your life are ultimately because of the choices you have made. You may be in a situation where it’s not the best or have friends that you have no clue where you picked them up from but at the end of the day you created your environment. Now imagine what it would be like to be fully aware, responsible and accountable; imagine how drastically your life would change if you put effort into really making things happen.
When you make the decision to be proactive and consciously responsive, you start to manifest the life that you deserve. Having the knowledge of the absolute universal principles (I’ll go into more detail about later is crucial in becoming an ‘Artisan of Life’. The ABCs of life (Attitude | Beliefs | Commitment) are choices that you make through core competencies that have been practiced and instilled in you. Are you a victim or a victor? Victims play the ‘blame game’ and are never responsible for their outcomes; a bad experience is always because of someone else that put them there. Victims are also lazy and wait for life to happen and usually react to what life throws them. Now if you you choose to be responsible because you know that you control your own destiny, you are disciplined and proactive then you are a victor. You are the author of your own book. You are a creator and a craftsman at life that can achieve anything. Know this.
We live in a day of victimization, the ‘blame game’ that are excuses for our own behaviour. A great website to check out is the Culture of Victims by Zur Institute and you check out some of the outrageous lawsuits of victims.. I’ll be honest, there have been times where I have felt like the victim but I changed the way I looked at my situation, took responsibility and just moved forward but know this: you never really learn the lesson until it’s presented to you again. Right? Ever hear someone say, “Why does this keep happening to me?” Perhaps you have said it. Well it’s happening to you again so you can practice what you have learned, IF you have learned. I used to feel like a victim listening to a girlfriend that kept telling me about her victim stories. I was so tired of hearing the same old story about how the world was always after her and how Blockbuster (a movie rental store back in the day) was going to charge her $29.99 for the movie she rented for 2 days but 27 days later when she didn’t return it they wanted her to pay for the movie as if she had purchased it. She was livid about it and screamed and yelled in my ear and cried. Now if she would have taken responsibility then she would have returned it on time that wouldn’t have happened. I was a victim to her rants but I made the choice and was no longer a victim when I finally decided to let that friendship go. I was drained but it wasn’t her fault, it was mine because I kept answering the phone when she called and I had even taken her back after falling out 3 times! I wish her well but I will not allow that in my life anymore.
Look at all the anonymous support groups out there such as AA, Gamblers Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, Codependents Anonymous, Sex Addicts Anonymous, Victims Anonymous and the list goes on. I’m not saying that they are bad to have, it’s great support so people don’t feel alone and there is help to work through it, but again some people abuse it and say that they have a handicap, or a mental illness, or a chronic syndrome (the blame game). Life is happening and it isn’t waiting for you. You can’t control your upbringing, your parents, an abusive relationship, or how people act, or how the sales associate treated you, but you can control how you react with the right attitudes, beliefs and commitments (ABCs).
Choose to make a difference with your life. You can’t look for the fruit on the tree if you haven’t planted the seed and given deep care right to the roots. We tend to only focus on the beautiful, juicy fruit, and in this day and age people want instant gratification. Dig roots down deep into the nutrient soil and focus on nurturing them. Focus on the roots and it will grow beautiful fruit but know that anything good always takes time to come to fruition. If you don’t care for the roots then the fruit that grows may not be grade A. Do you let circumstances bring you down or do you take responsibility for your own life? How do you see challenges? Do you see them as a hindrance or an opportunity to learn and grow? We live in a world of abundance, so really time, money, education, resources are all all excuses that we make.
What does it mean to take charge for your life? What does proactive really mean?
Pro: For. To take action, not living by ‘IFs’, being responsible for your own ABCs
Active: Doing. Being disciplined not lazy, taking action, creating and practicing good habits. Goomnatsoo – Greek for gymnastics
We forget the meaning of life and we have become lazy and we have become sensuously driven, not sexually driven, but driven by senses. What gets your senses going? What gets you excited? For me it’s shopping. The hunt, the deals, touching the fabric, knowing the history of the designer, the way the clothes hug my body, the feeling I get when it fits perfect, the newness, it gets me going and I could shop all day. This feeling and what I am driven by is part of the 5 Ps that I had mentioned in my last entry. Now can you see how that would be driven by senses?
Reactive people focus on the fruit; they react to their senses.
Proactive people focus on the roots; they respond by the nurturing they have given to their roots.
How do you gain more wisdom? Through experiences and lessons. All wisdom really means is being more skilled, a craftsman, or artisan through the 10 MAXIMIZERS which I will break down in future posts. It’s about practicing them until it’s a core competency. Researchers say it takes 21 days for a habit to process. So if you practice a habit over and over for 21 days is becomes a core competency. Then if you practice same thing for another 21 days, it becomes engrained and becomes a parcel of you.
Stop practicing bad habits and start practicing good habits. There are 5 key things for habit formation:
Have a plan
Attach pain and pleasure
Build an accountability structure
Now this is a process, this is not for quick results and it will be painful, and there will be sacrifices, but you need to be consistent and keep training and practicing. You may fall down but don’t freak out, cry or give up, just pick yourself up and try it again. Remember, 21 days of practicing even you keep falling because I am telling you, it will cause great joy as you work over and over again while you develop a good habit. What have you been practicing? Write down some of the good habits you want to achieve and follow the plan. I’ll go into more detail about the 10 MAXIMIZERS and the ABCs of them. Until then, happy training!