How to Deal with Negative and Critical People

Negative people and critics are everywhere and expected, you can run, but you can’t hide from them. And no matter how you choose to live your life — single or in a relationship, whether you work a corporate job or become an entrepreneur; whether you choose to have children or choose not to have children; if you eat meat or are a vegetarian, if you drink coffee or tea, whatever you do, there is someone that will judge you for it. And the more successful you are or the more popular you become in life, the more haters will show up.

What you need to remember is that it’s not you; it’s them. There are some people that will find a reason to project their insecurities, their negativity, or their fears onto you and try to make your life miserable so that you will have to deal with it (we know that misery loves company). There are two ways in dealing with people like this: you can allow it to bother all day long, then react to it by stooping to their level and by giving them what they want: a reaction so that they can prove themselves right or you can shake it off and send them good energy. Ask yourself before you ever react: what would love do? The way anyone treats anyone is the only way they know how to be. So next time you come across a hater, don’t hate back, they just need more love in their lives.

Shaking it off and sending them good energy is not as easy as dishing it right back to them. But they started it. And if they are going to be like that to me I will do the same. In the world of Karma, two wrongs do not make a right, my friend. Hey, remember how you felt when they criticized you? And judged you? You are the bigger person who knows the truth within and who are these people to judge you anyways? With that being said, there is no need to defend yourself to people like this. People are put on this Earth for a reason and when you are being confronted with negative and critical people remember that how you deal with it will be your defining moment of truth. How will you react? Will you believe it to be true that it affects your choices in life that you have ultimately made based on what you know to be the truth and to be what is right for you? How will this define you? Style and grace. If people are slandering you then you have know that the people they are gossiping to don’t even matter because they just don’t know you. And those aren’t the people you want to surround yourself with. Moving forward.

Here’s what I’ve learned about dealing with the people who judge you, your work, your goals and others, the ‘haters’, dun dun dunnnn:

  • First and most importantly, do NOT stoop to their level and be the hater by hating them back. Don’t be the person who tears down someone else’s hard work down just to make yourself feel better. The world needs more positive leaders who contribute their gifts and share their ideas and love with good intent and you have to remember that is you. Working up the courage and putting yourself out there in anything is being vulnerable and in it’s most raw form. Support the people who display that kind of courage and never mind those that have nothing else better to do than lead from a place of darkness. Eventually they will come to the light.
  • If you’re dealing with criticism, then don’t let the wall keep you from continuing on your path. Remember that the ‘boos‘ are coming from the cheap seats and usually like to remain ‘anonymous’  because what they say behind closed doors, or behind a screen, is what they know to be true about themselves but can’t admit it publicly and lash out on others. When was there ever a rude comment that was posted by someone who allowed their name to show up. Exactly.
  • If you absolutely have to retaliate and can’t keep it in, then surprise them with kindness. You’ll need to find new haters because those ones will eventually become your fans.
  • But the most important of this is to make the choices that are right for YOU. People will criticize you either way. Life is not a test, it’s not a dress rehearsal, it’s the real deal and you get one chance on stage so you better be ready for ‘go time’ and realize that the people back stage are just unhappy with their lives because if they weren’t they would have their own thing going instead of trolling the grape vine researching you based on fiction that they think are facts. In a way, it’s flattering, take heart to it because you are doing a really good job. Remember, you are a superstar and when you get that many people that love you and support you and see you for who you are, it’s inevitable that the haters will emerge from their grave yard.
  • Just remove yourself from they naysayers and negative Nellies.

At the end of the day, it is still considered bullying, and not everyone is going to like you and you need to shake it off because it’s only a projection of who they are, NOT you, and when they see you going up the ladder, you are just the moving target for them to shoot at so all you have to do is keep on moving, you’re not a target you’re a moving star. Focus on those that support you and know you.

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